Of Obstacles and Challenges
If you are not deeply uncomfortable, then you are not rapidly growing
One of my favourite authors, Ryan Holiday, quotes Marcus Aurelius in his deeply insightful and intellectually stimulating book The Obstacle Is The Way, which essentially summarizes this quote in his title:
Humans are conditioned to view problems in a very negative light. Having no problems is equivalent to being a-okay, while the slightest hint of one arising is attributed to us having done something wrong. Inherently, the ideal and perfect life is depicted as one without problems. So in turn we do not go seek out problems, and pray that they do not come find us. But like everybody who has existed on the face of this Earth, we do not have a choice about solving problems. Rarely do things go the way we expect them to, not to mention the way we want them to. Adversity likes to creep into our lives all the time when we are seemingly the least prepared. When this happens it can cause us to lose all hope and break down. We hear about the tragedies of others and think, “Wow, so glad it was not us those things happened to.”
We are conditioned to continuously pursue comfort and what we like to call “happiness.” The problem with this is the more we try to live this way, we do not advance at the same pace problems do, and one day when they do slither their way in, we are not armed to methodically deal with them. Problems do not care whether we are well-equipped or not to deal with them. They come in all forms, shapes, and sizes. The problems that we will be faced with are getting more difficult at an expeditious rate. 2020 presented itself as a catastrophic blitzkrieg of problems, and I am so proud that mankind stepped up to the challenge when we produced not one, but several vaccines that assuaged the onslaught of the pandemic. We could have cowered and hid in the safety of what we were used to as “normal” until the pandemic magically went away. Practically, that was not going to happen so we were absolutely required to face this enigma of a virus head-on.
Ryan’s book says without problems we cannot advance. What does “advance” mean in this context? In my definitions, literally it means learning a new skill that requires time, patience, and effort. Figuratively it means being more resilient and stoic in the face of adversity.
Whether we like it or not, we have to stretch ourselves frequently in order to be more prepared for the tumultuous times that will come. In order to stretch we must be proactive and habitually choose the path of most resistance so we get into a problem-solving mode. Life is a pop quiz where we can be tested when we least expect it. So if we have been preparing all along, we can actually ace those pop quizzes.
Personally I do not like problems because they make us vulnerable. Problems will most likely hurt us in the process of solving them. They hurt us by making us doubt ourselves and question our abilities, which in turn lowers our self-belief and self-esteem. Our ego takes a hit because, “Why is it so hard?” We slide into the plaguing victim mindset of “Why me?” In order to avoid being hurt I have avoided situations where I will run into problems. This avoidance comes with a price, however, as I would learn after choosing the path of least resistance every time. You will never take risks because there are no guarantees when you venture into the unknown. You will not accomplish anything extraordinary because there are no big rewards for the path that is frequently traveled. You will then be left on the sidelines, simply existing, while others who choose to live a meaningful life make their impact in the world.
As Nadia Comăneci famously said, “the only way to escape fear is to trample it beneath your feet.” The strife and tribulations will come. We do not have a choice about their presence in our lives. The only way to get over them is by defeating them. The million-dollar question is, how prepared will we be when we do face them?
The difference between choosing to challenge ourselves and staying in our comfort zones is the difference between simply living or thriving. There is nothing wrong with just merely living and existing, but sometimes the desire to be more in such a vibrant world with endless possibilities for the persistent and curious makes me rethink my choices. There is no doubt we will fall flat on our faces and get our egos seriously bruised along the way. I am certain there will be heart-wrenching failures that will keep us awake for awhile. Our circumstances will get really painful to the point where we will be dubious about pushing forward. But once we get past the insurmountable, what awaits us on the other side may actually be worth it.
